The holiday season is the best time of year to find the perfect something for your difficult-to-shop-for friends and loved ones who are crazy for drum corps.


Blue Devils — Devils Horns

The devil is in the detail of these Blue Devils horns. An attached battery box affixed to the headband (battery included!) allows for the horns to light up and glow. Imagine the devilish grin that'll be left on your face as everyone you pass knows which drum corps you're rooting for. | $6 |


Blue Knights — Wine Glass Set

Toast the New Year with this Blue Knights wine glass set, embellished with the corps’ name and logo. This set of four 13-ounce glasses comes in a display box that is handy for gift-giving. It’s the kind of useful gift that can just as easily be displayed atop your Baroque cabriole leg antique Chippendale chifforobe or on one of the shelves of your rosewood, marble top Victorian Étagère as it can atop your Coleman cooler tailgating in the stadium parking lot. | $35 |


Blue Stars — Dual-Port USB Car Charger

At a bargain price, you’ll want to load up on these stocking stuffers. Made of genuine ABS plastic (ask for it by name), this dual-port USB car charger provides you with all the 5V, 100ma output you could conceivably handle in one lifetime. The 2.1 amp USB charging system can charge cell phones, mp3 players, portable game players, tablets, and other electronics. Never again be driving through Death Valley and be disappointed to discover that you are unable to charge your new Nintendo Switch. That would mean no Mario Kart for you until you arrive in Panamint Springs. Are you really willing to risk that? | $6 |


Carolina Crown — Fidget Spinner

Hop on board the fidget spinner craze before they go the way of Tamagotchis and Beanie Babies. Crown’s version is purple with the Crown logo in the center. You’ll be able to while away hours of boredom waiting in line at the theater to see the latest “Star Wars” film by playing with this contraption, and as an added bonus they’d make great party favors for a picnic with your Blue Knights wine glasses. | $10 |


Colts — Scarecrow Uniform

Gently used from the corps’ 2014 “Dark Side of the Rainbow” production, this color guard uniform is a triple threat, not only embodying the Scarecrow, but also the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man. Consider complementing it with your Guardians socks (coming up … have patience, young grasshopper) and would also pair well with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. | $75 |


Colt Cadets — White Lab Coats

The perfect complement to an off-the-shelf educational science kit, consider one of the authentic Colt Cadets white lab coats left over from the corps’ charming 2012 “Alive” production, in which mad scientists created new life forms who did their best trying to fit in with the corps. Wear one of these to try creating your own drum corps life form in your parents’ basement, though the Colt Cadets and Drum Corps International assume no liability if you end up creating a saxophonist. | $5 |


Crossmen — Clear Stadium Bag

Assuming that the Bones Bobblehead from last year’s holiday gift list has become an important member of your family, don’t let Bones get left out in the parking lot when you roll up to a venue that has a clear bag policy in place. This year, consider buying a Crossmen clear stadium bag. Better yet, buy a Crossmen clear stadium bag and its accompanying “Drum Corps Fanatic” bag so neither bag nor Bones is lonely. | $15 |


Genesis — Cinch Sack

If you are going to a drum corps contest that doesn’t have a clear bag policy, you’ll do well to carry in this cinch sack emblazoned on one side with “Property of Genesis Drum & Bugle Corps” and the other side with the Genesis phoenix logo atop a solid outline of the State of Texas. Couple this with your Crossmen Clear Stadium Bag and let the bags of Texas battle it out for dominance. The loser gets stuffed inside the winner when you only want to carry one bag. | $15 |


Guardians — Socks

These socks are black where no one will see them (unless you’re one who enjoys the socks with sandals look) and green and white where it counts, repeatedly displaying the Guardians emblem. Socks are a consumable item that everyone needs to replace each year, so why not chuck a few of these into your Genesis Cinch Sack and be ready for when you’re at work or at a party and you experience an embarrassing sock blowout (Relax, it’s happened to us all!). Put on a pair of these babies and continue on your day as if nothing happened, except now you’re wearing black, green, and white socks that will elevate your level of consciousness and that of everyone within eyesight of your happenin’ gams. | $20 |


Jersey Surf — Lemon Yellow Plumes

At the time of publishing, there are nearly 100 of these lemony yellow plumey thingies available. If you want your own plume, and you want it to be yellow, and you want the yellow to be of the lemon variety, we’re delighted to inform you that your search is over. According to the description, “Everything about them is great. They are vibrant and fluffy.” Now, how many things in your life can you honestly say are great in terms of everything about them? Thought so. You need some vibrancy and fluffiness in your life. You need one of these plumes, and once you see just how vibrant and fluffy they are, you’ll have a hankering to give additional plumes to everyone on your “nice” list. | $15 |


Madison Scouts — Circle Fleur Spinner Key Chain

Marketed as a step above your average key chain with a center that spins, it may raise the question, “Where has this been all my life?” While you’re driving and your drummer friends are busy destroying your dashboard and headrests, you can work off the building tension of knowing your sweet ride is depreciating before your very eyes by spinning this key chain at stop lights, train crossings, or your favorite Taco Bell drive-through. | $8 |


Mandarins — Pandarin

The Mandarins’ Pandarin is the cutest darn thing you’ll see this side of a bouquet of lemon yellow plumes. Resembling a panda, the Mandarins Pandarin is … ohhhhh … of course! “Mandarins Panda” = “Pandarin.” This Pandarin is 15” tall and “sports a custom-made shirt embroidered with the Sacramento Mandarins logo … and no two are alike.” It’s too bad the small panda “Manda Bear” is currently out of stock. Imagine how cute the two bears would have been next to each other, the larger bear riding in your Genesis cinch sack and the smaller one riding shotgun in your Crossmen clear stadium bag. | $25 |


Pacific Crest — License Plate Holder

Start your own fleet of vehicles to travel in a caravan just like your favorite corps! This Pacific Crest license plate holder is made of genuine plastic, with the corps’ logo across the top and the corps’ name across the bottom. While buses and equipment trucks are not included, putting this license plate holder in your hands might just make you yearn to put the hammer down and roll your truckin’ convoy ‘cross the USA. | $10 |


Phantom Regiment — Ice Scraper

Nothing will make you say, “Hurry, Summer,” faster than when you gift this 7” ice scraper bearing the name and chevron logo of Phantom Regiment. Create a little bit of drum corps whimsy by partially clearing your windshield to make chevron shapes in the ice. The creativity you can have with this item is limited only by your imagination. Whether you drive a Buick, or play one of Phantom’s “Buick” euphoniums, this ice scraper is a must-have. | $7 |


Pioneer — Utility Pocket Knife

The blue Pioneer Utility Pocket Knife is “convenience in the palm of your hand!” It is also “equipped with a multitude of tools,” perhaps most appropriate to assist with opening all those boxes of items you’re going to order off this list. In homage to Wisconsin drum corps, you can use the attached metal loop to hang it off your Madison Scouts key chain. | $10 |


Santa Clara Vanguard — Tuscany Luggage Tag

Once you receive many of the items from this list, you’ll find yourself wanting to identify them as your own. That’s where this Santa Clara Vanguard Tuscany luggage tag comes in. Better yet, pick up several of these SCV Tuscany luggage tags, as they aren’t your average luggage tags. Each tag includes an elastic loop for easily attaching to your favorite corps gear, an elastic closure that protects your cherished information card, and it’s made of genuine soft faux leather polyurethane (accept no substitutions). | $10 |


Southwind — Onesie

This onesie features lap shoulders for easier changing. Unfortunately, it only comes in sizes that fit babies, which is too bad as it will be too small for anyone reading this, and too big to fit a Mandarins Pandarin. However, its diminutive size allows it to fit perfectly inside the Genesis Cinch Sack. | $22 |


Spartans — Uniform Pillows

Last year you probably bought a Spartans T-Shirt pillow, made of old Spartans souvenir tour T-shirts. This year, buy your T-shirt pillow a companion in the form of a Spartans Uniform Pillow, crafted from the corps’ retired uniforms worn between 1999 and 2013. The pillows are handmade from various former corps uniforms, which is kind of what you would expect. What you can’t possibly expect are the comments from your friends when they come over to your abode and see that you’ve got a pillow made out of a corps uniform. This, friends, is America at its finest. | $50 |


Spirit of Atlanta — Custom Steel Props

These custom steel props are from Spirit of Atlanta’s 2017 show, “Crossroads: We Are Here.” Each of the four modernistic metal sculptures was located in one of the four corners of the field, except when they were sitting inside the corps’ equipment trailer. It was said by the corps’ staff that the props were “sculptures of emotion.” These props will look right at home in your bedroom, your living room, or your bathroom. Or, put them all in your home gym so you’ve got something to hang your clothes on without covering up the treadmill you rarely use. But be careful; emotions this powerful can easily dominate any Tao you’ve attempted to create in your home through the use of feng shui. These emotions are capable of sending your qi up the metaphysical river, playing havoc with your yin-yang. | $1,200 |


Troopers — Leather Business Card Holder

This is a very high quality leather business card holder branded with the classic Troopers logo, and as such, distances itself from lesser-quality drum corps business card holders constructed of artificial materials better suited for the passenger seats in an entry level Kia. Whip out this baby at a job interview and hear the words, “How soon can you start working for our company, and how soon can we appoint you as our new CEO?” | $15 |


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